Sung to the tune of “Take Me Out To the Ballgame”

Take me out to the golf course

Take me out to play golf

Slice it or hook it, it’s all in my head

I don’t know if I should get out of my bed

So it’s root, root, root for the lost ball

I hit it in the high gorse

And it’s one, two, three putts for eight

At the old golf course